Curveball Comic Gifts

"Your parole office says you're throwing too close to the batters' heads."

'That's our mission statement.'

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

"Why so grim, handsome?"

"Slugger goes yard!!!"

Footballer kicking his own brain.

Kidnapping Lord Haw-Haw

After years of working in an office without a door, Doug was moved to a door without an office.

"I've got an office and I've got a window, but I wouldn't say I've got a window office."

"To be honest the culture sucks, but the pay is amazing."

'Are we replacing you with a computer? Ha! That's a good one. If we replaced you with a chimpanzee it would be over qualified.'

Al, The Go-From Guy

'I'm going to have to transfer you to someone I don't like.'

'So I left a little bit out of the genetic code when I cloned you. You're only missing a nose. What's the big deal?'

"Don't think of it as getting fired. Think of it as finally being recognized for your incompetence."

Star-Spangled Danner Episode 4

Not a good day - he's counting paper-clips.

"Wow! That's a mean curveball."

They called her the Olympic Flame because she never went out.

Pitching Tryouts. Never mind the fastball. They grade on a curve here.

The world is my oyster and I'm allergic to shellfish.

'Felworth, until you've completed your management training program, I'll have to ask you not to fool around with your desk.'

"I like my job because I can afford better psychotropic drugs than my colleagues!"

Clown doing curl with barbell has springing ball emerge from bicep.

'So much for the question of whether of whether or not a curveball really curves.'

WHOA!! If you try hard enough, you can open them!

'Hello, Stranger. Hello' even Stranger.'

'Isaac Newton, pursuing his study of the laws of motion,, discovers that a thrown ball can curve..."

"You know, Joe, like you I was tired of cutting my own meat, but my life has changed now that I've trained this panda to be my slave."

Hillary knew to not get too excited about being in remission since bad news could again come out of nowhere.

Center for psychokinetic research.

Look....I'm complicated!

The downside of curbing your dog....

"Staff shortages and increased workloads means all leave has been cancelled...but as compensation we are being offered enhanced toilet breaks!"

"...We've clubbed together to get you something as a token of our appreciation. I think the staples are included."