Curvature Connoisseur T-Shirts

'That explains why I have so much trouble parallel parking.'

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

Imagine

'Billy! Set your homework aside and get down here. There's another basketball recruiter here to see you.'

25¢ Ride the Pony

'I forgot the question.'

'The Entrecote a la Bordelaise? It's stuff on a plate.'

"I'd like a wine that was born in France and then bummed around California."

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

'I know you like romantic things, so I built us this love-nest. Stuck together with my own spit.'

'Who are you and what do you want?'

Wildlife Refuge

"I'm working on a watercolor."

'Well, so much for laughter being the best medicine.'

"Why don't you stop by and stray for awhile."

"Bobby, you may have worked for a circus but that's not an excuse for playing with your food!"

Blue wine

NBA on strike.

"Don't worry, we'll soon have you all sorted out."

Old lady spying on the neighbours using a webcam.

The pilgrimage begins

"We have a Sauvignon Blanc to refresh your palate or a lick of this toad to obliterate your sense of self."

Fashion world.

Anthony Kennedy

"Look, it's the managerial merry-go-round!"

"I'd like to be transferred to the Bureau of Cubes...Immediately."

Rubik's Cubicle

'I would hardly call Dick and Jane must reading, would you?'

'Honk if you know the meaning of life'

Watch your language.

"I think this one will suit you, 'A dizzy little number, with a hint of musty socks'."

"What do cats want?"