Curtain Counselor T-Shirts

"Tia Carmen, can you fix my curtains? I ripped 'em by accident."

Indoor Climbing Centre for Cats.

'They all want to play the star.'

Taking a peek at the audience

"Then, after college, I joined the navy. Wait, I think I hear him coming."

I don't think I'm letting sunlight in when I open the curtains. I think the darkness is going out.

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

'Very well, I'll introduce you. Ego, meet ID. Now get back to work.'

"I take it you got the lead in the school play."

Curtains haberdashery

Drama Llama

David wasn't sure about the idea of having denim curtains.

'Mummy, can you please pull the curtain and make it dark please? I'm scared of the light...'

So doctor, what you're saying is that all the time I thought she was a crazy cat lady, it was me who had mental health issues...

"Is there a dramaturge in the house?"

Waiting Room For Godot.

'Mamma Mia, Les Mis, Leveson inquiry...'

'You may choose either everlasting life or whatever is behind the curtain.'

"This time it's curtains for you, Black Bart!"

"The thing is we lived in L.A.,...we never even needed mittens!"

'That's the material I want for our new lounge curtains.'

"Congratulations on opening night."

Book and magician

'Scratching these curtains will be the greatest performance of my life.'

"I find a good way to avoid stress is to close the curtains, climb into bed, and pull the covers over my head."

'Look at it out there, Jones. Successful businesses as far as the eyes can see... We're gonna need some curtains.'

"I'm ordering curtains for our neighbor, the Retirement Home for Lawyers Without Briefs."

'Thomas won't stay off the stage. He loves his part in the school play - he's the commercial.'

"Terrific! A hit! Broadway at its best!"

"I've got it! If we don't send Stanley Kauffman any tickets, maybe he won't come!"

'Oooh the Timpsons have got new blinds.' (Blinds read 'Sod off you nosy cow).

At Astley's

'I told you the next time you crossed me it would be curtains for you!'

"And I'm telling you the curtains always looked like that."

"Mr Potts, could you step behind the curtain and get undressed please."