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'I'm your agent! You're going to have to do another swansong.'

Indoor Climbing Centre for Cats.

'They all want to play the star.'

Taking a peek at the audience

"Then, after college, I joined the navy. Wait, I think I hear him coming."

I don't think I'm letting sunlight in when I open the curtains. I think the darkness is going out.

Baseball batting cage theater La Cage Aux Folles.

"I take it you got the lead in the school play."

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

Curtains haberdashery

Drama Llama

'Mummy, can you please pull the curtain and make it dark please? I'm scared of the light...'

John Woodvine

"Is there a dramaturge in the house?"

Bravo!

Waiting Room For Godot.

'Mamma Mia, Les Mis, Leveson inquiry...'

"This time it's curtains for you, Black Bart!"

Man cold-calling on phone from igloo

'That's the material I want for our new lounge curtains.'

'If you don't mind, my sales manager wanted me to call him the second you took the hook.'

"Congratulations on opening night."

'Scratching these curtains will be the greatest performance of my life.'

Book and magician

'Look at it out there, Jones. Successful businesses as far as the eyes can see... We're gonna need some curtains.'

"I'm ordering curtains for our neighbor, the Retirement Home for Lawyers Without Briefs."

"I've got it! If we don't send Stanley Kauffman any tickets, maybe he won't come!"

'Thomas won't stay off the stage. He loves his part in the school play - he's the commercial.'

"Terrific! A hit! Broadway at its best!"

'My son never called me until he became a telemarketer.'

'Oooh the Timpsons have got new blinds.' (Blinds read 'Sod off you nosy cow).

At Astley's

"Could someone please get a plaque made? A famous actor has just died in our theatre."

"Mr Potts, could you step behind the curtain and get undressed please."

'Every time you get ready to make a call, on your mobile phone, you reach for a comfortable chair. No wonder all that air time translates into large phone bills.'