Curtain Connoisseur T-Shirts

'That's the material I want for our new lounge curtains.'

'Oooh the Timpsons have got new blinds.' (Blinds read 'Sod off you nosy cow).

"I'm ordering curtains for our neighbor, the Retirement Home for Lawyers Without Briefs."

'Scratching these curtains will be the greatest performance of my life.'

Barcode Curtains

Window Treatments - Glass Curtain

'The evening was enjoyable until the curtain went up...'

"This time it's curtains for you, Black Bart!"

Curtains haberdashery

A Box at the Opera

"I see she's got those curtains up again. . ."

"And I'm telling you the curtains always looked like that."

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

Mr. Punch's Fancy Ball

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

'At least we look cool. Especially with the wind chill factor.'

bird interprets modern art

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

"Honey, I can't go to the gym today. I feel too out-of-shape."

"Then, after college, I joined the navy. Wait, I think I hear him coming."

'Anorak anoraks'.

Binge Watch

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

"Goal!"

Bee costume

Captain Corcoran, Commander of H.M.S. Pinafore

"You're not a real fan. You're just dressed up like a slut for attention."

Workout clothes: 'One size fits none.'

Doctor Bartolo

"I tried the C25k but prefer the 5k2C"

"I wish I could lay there all day watching funny cat videos..."

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

"I really like this one – but I'm afraid of getting hurt again."