Curry Gifts

"That's one thing you can't get up here, a good hot curry."

"Careful it's hot."

'It started yesterday, after I had a strong curry.'

Soup of the month.

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

Garden.

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

Too much cilantro

"Hmm...I LOVE chocolate chip ice cream...!"

Holiday Supplies

I love Cannelloni

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

'Strong curry for two and a fire-extinguisher.'

This is Dr. Sadie, what's your question, caller? I just found out my wife got a bonus at work. But instead of buying gifts for my mother and my six brothers, she flew to Maui and sent me a photo of herself eating a seven-course meal. Stop whining. She's given you the best gift a spouse can give ... Something to hold over her head for the rest of your lives. Well ... There is that, I guess.

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

"Please don't kill me."

I told you I got us the best table in the house. Pizza.

'We're not at home, Stu. You can't just order 'I don't care'.'

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

"Marions nous! Tu payes les impôts, j'offre le resto!"

The perfect man

"Cut down on the pumpkin spice."

The boss is truly a courageous risk-taker. Only he tasted the salmon mousse at last year's company picnic.

"I see the businessman's lunch is up 50p."

Now we know --- It's good for making toast, not good for heating up meatloaf!

'You don't appreciate anything I cook!'

"I tried to hire a hamburger fry cook from a fast food joint for our cafeteria but he wouldn't take the cut in pay."

"Honey, I’ll take over. The stir-fry has suffered long enough."

"Careful it's hot." (Colour)

"I enjoy eating healthy – I just don’t like the food."

'How's the curry?'

"Oh I don't mind the jogging, but I think you tricked me. When you asked if I wanted to exercise, I thought you said, extra fries!"

"Trust me, it tastes good – you won’t like it."

"You know, we have our little spats, but we don't argue about what to eat nearly as much as other couples."