Curriculum Crusaders Gifts

"How can they say it's getting easier - this is rocket science."

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

"I find it so stimulating to learn new software."

Caged Businessman

"We thought this was more realistic."

Our college is tuned to the students' every need! Campus Visits. We have body image awareness week. Safe sex awareness week. Bullying, drug use and tolerance awareness weeks. What did I miss? Welcome. History, math or English awareness week? Great idea. I'll suggest that.

"I finally got tenure by publishing a research paper funded by a grant about subsidies."

'Life isn't fair and neither is Miss Brown!'

Nervous Student

'This is going really well. I did a great job organizing this lecture.'

Kate's first task as new principal was to right a number of wrongs.

'I was going to teach them the meaning of life ... but it wasn't on the test.'

"History test? But I studied all night for a math test!"

'Of course you're overworked and underpaid! Didn't you read the fine print in your employee's contract?'

'You must be the new hire. Welcome aboard. Here's our prepackaged curriculum. If time permits, encourage critical thinking.'

The Glass Floor

"Should I refer to it as 'Common Core'?"

'My problem is that I'm number one in my field and I have no place to go but down.'

"So, Mrs. Miller, would you tell me briefly your methods for teaching reading, your overall philosophy of education, your views on testing, your ideas on discipline, your opinions about homework, the ways you could excite kids about science, and how you would upgrade math skills in our school should you be hired?"

A Temporary One Day A Year Job Is Not Enough, I Want A Permanent Job!

'Your acceptance is tentative until we can rule on the question of your knowingly using pirated software.'

"What is the battle cry for homeschoolers?" Kids: "Go Home!"

'That concludes the list of students with outstanding grades. And now for those of you with outstanding student loan payments...'

"There was a time when only the rich went to university... now even they can't afford it."

"First day of school and you've already got problem students?"

"How can you suggest that this university's research facilities have been co-opted by the military?"

"Good news! The White House has agreed to negotiate with us on that $400 mil in cuts!" "What do you have to give up next time... the other arm or a leg...?"

No.1 best-selling book on college campuses - 'How to say 'send money' in 101 languages'.

We must stand up..against incompetence

"Second grade, second grade, second grade, my teacher wants me to repeat second grade!"

"We are getting an education, just not the one we paid for."

The seniors are crazed about college. Admissions. I plan to be totally chill. 1000 colleges. You're not worried about the pre-SATs this Saturday? Of course not. West Fester High. I forgot all about them!!!

'Slipsbac, lets talk about your future here.'