Curriculum Crafter Gifts

Even while eating she developed exciting lesson plans for unexpected tests.

"First day of school and you've already got problem students?"

Do it yourself books.

'Home Schooling'

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

"Notice how Dad ages faster at relativistic speeds?"

"We thought this was more realistic."

"'Well done' lulled him into complacency."

'31 years in graphic design eh, so I shouldn't be surprised you've retouched your photo on your CV.'

'Danae's spent all this week writing new amendments, which I can only assume means she doesn't know what it'll take to get them into the constitution...so I sent her a link on the process...'

Day 38 of self-isolation and many people are using the time to discover and enjoy new hobbies.

A potter paints a barcode on a pot.

'You can't blame the kids for being restless when we have math teachers teaching French, and English teachers teaching science.'

'This is going really well. I did a great job organizing this lecture.'

Kate's first task as new principal was to right a number of wrongs.

"Thank you for 30 years of teaching service. Now you have 5 minutes to turn in your keys, I.D. card, empty your desk and be escorted out."

'That's o.k., Dugan - 'why do I even bother?' was a rhetorical question.'

'I was going to teach them the meaning of life ... but it wasn't on the test.'

'A restaurateur prepares macaroni and sells it as pasta. I want you to do the same for the educational program at your school.'

'All right, who sewed in the disposable diaper?'

Cross-country knitting.

What are you going to do with your face masks when we no longer need them?

'Watch this! Open up a straw by scrunching up its wrapper! Now put a drop of water on that wrinkly paper tube! Check it out! It wiggles and grows!'

'Yes, I received your resume that you emailed. I ran a fact check and I was wondering if you know that a half truth is a whole lie.'

'You must be the new hire. Welcome aboard. Here's our prepackaged curriculum. If time permits, encourage critical thinking.'

"It hasn't been published yet. Bloody idiots wouldn't recognize a great book if it jumped up and bit them on the ass."

"I had to get braces."

'Your student Clara has tested as Talented and Gifted. But only in metal sculpting. You'll need to start incorporating metal sculpting into your daily lesson plans starting...tomorrow.'

'How come you're always trying to teach me things I don't want to know.'

Phrenology head filled with National Curriculum instead of real knowledge.

Wooly mammoth

"What is the battle cry for homeschoolers?" Kids: "Go Home!"

'What do you mean you're not hungry?'

'Please pardon the inconvenience while this web page is under construction.'

Conservative Curriculum