Current Events Connoisseur Gifts

"It's not like we sold the Saudis the swords for the executions...we didn't, did we?"

"It's impossible to get away from it all."

Steve Scalise

British savings accounts

Donald Trump Removing Aggressor Label From Vladimir Putin

"See..? We told you there was nothing there..."

Israel/Palestine Conflict

Health Advisory: Flint Water has lead, Ann Arbor water has dioxane.

Our Two Parties, Explained

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

Turkish Democracy

Government a la Carte

"Everyone stay calm, if we don't upset it maybe it won't start shooting."

Armageddon

"As I see it, 'Crazy politics' - like not voting on a supreme court nominee - is better than a complete government shutdown."

Russia Money Laundering

Matryoshka/ Russian Gas Cylinders

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

"Hey...look...I'm prepared to admit that I might have been wrong, but...I think it's time to draw a line under it... and y'know...move on..."

Twitter censorship

"Rescue...we've come to join you."

'Apologists today said little white lies -- but not the big lie -- may have played a part in Iraq Policies....'

Billions for Terrorists, No Tribute to Americans

'What I have to do first?!'

'Not a word to Alfred, but the spare bedroom is worth losing the fourteen pounds!'

"New court filings. Totally clears the President. Thank you." "Actually, sir, it, uh, says you did crime and might go to jail."

Fifty shades of Leveson.

Sybil Obama

"You don't even need to lie down on the therapy couch! Any therapy would be totally senseless, Mr. Putin!"

"Do you think the 'Taliban' is: (a) a cellphone company; (b) a deodorant (c) a terrorist company

"It's a complicated time for needle phobics."

Non Thought For The Day.

'Mr. President, I have a question, where's the mens' room?'

Sisyphean task with the free press.

"We live in interesting times. Present company exempted, of course."