Currency Wizard Gifts

60 minutes I.Q. test - pick the counterfeit.

'If you're successful, you have money. . . and if you have money, you're successful. . . Any Questions?'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

The president's men

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

The Shrinking Dollar.

Maybe clean out your wallet

'This is embarrassing. By MY calculations, the universe should have collapsed in on itself last Wednesday.'

'Unemployed math grad. Will solve quadratic equations for food."

'I'm afraid that the top investment banks are looking for more from job applicants than a 'Top Degree from the University of Hard Knocks'.'

US dollar perched on fragile house of cards.

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

"Have you been working out?"

'Dad 'If Jack brought 10,000 shares at $3 and he sold 75% of them to Larry for $8 before the value went down to $2, what did Jack end up with?''

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

Cartoon about having many investors for crowd funding.

'Check with legal and find out -- maybe we're a non-profit.'

"Dad, wouldn't my allowance be better off earning interest in a tax free municipal bond fund?"

"Says, property of the I.R.S."

"This pesky decimal point seems to give you quite a bit of trouble."

IRS Audits. Do you have tax records? No, I pay about the same as most people.

"And they say it's the safest 500-P/E stock out there."

"I still have my loophole, but I can't drive a truck through it."

'Euro's down against the pound, dollars up against yen, pound is... what the hell don't expect cheap meals in France!'

"...And this is Mable, who will assist me with the billing."

My First Bitcoin.

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

Making money for investors is simple

'J.B., there's not enough ROI on the IPO, YTD.'

"Taxation, meet Representation."

"The economic modeling of our economic modeling suggests we need to remodel."

'My mother sent down some chicken soup to see if that will help.'