Curious Philosopher Gifts

"...I want to find out whether there's any truth in the belief that money can't buy happiness."

"You call it 'faith in God' when your faith is really in the humans who interpret what other humans wrote. Which was edited, revised, and translated by other humans. And was originally based on stories other humans orally passed from one generation of humans to the next, about events yet other humans claimed to have witnessed thousands of years ago."

Beyond the known and the unknown.

'Is there really a Santa Claus? That depends - are we talking about the man or the brand?'

'If no one rides it, is it still mass transit?'

'How can I be sure you're not better off not knowing?'

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

Pigeon Little

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

Schrodinger's Black Box

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

Reverse psychology

"When I get to Heaven, will I still have to clean my room?"

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

'I wonder how Curious George fits into all this?'

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" "Nothing. I'm going into stem cell research."

'Academic freedom doesn't mean you're free not to study.'

'See, dear, you can't believe everything you read. It says so right here on the internet!'

Hamlet in the craft shop.

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

Young ladies ponder the relationship of a man with a young boy

'Can you debunk my essay?'

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

'You can't win - a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but ignorance is no excuse!'

"Yes, I'm sure that going to school isn't the same as eating from the Tree of Knowledge."

Cars follow the sign to the mall rather than the sign to the manger.

'It's called a telescope son. It's sort of like a low-tech search engine.'

"Do I need to know this stuff to get into medical school?"

'There goes another one. Galileo, don't you have any idea what makes them do that?'