Curious Alchemist T-Shirts

Chemistry

"You say it all the time, so I climbed every tree to prove it. You were right, money doesn't grow on trees."

'I know about the birds and the bees. Tell me about the bears and the bulls.'

Computer: 'There are some things it is better not to know.'

"But until I do transmute lead into gold, maybe I could interest you in some lovely lead jewelry."

"Then what happened?"

"Yes, that's the tree with all the squirrels from yesterday. And no, I don't know where they are today."

Bookshop: Unpopular Economics

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

'It's an experiment to stop time.'

Alice's interest in photography grew, during her stay in Wonderland.

Plasma Ball

'All I wanted to know is if that word was naughty.'

"I don't know, it's just the whole Dark Ages thing. It's got me down."

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

'Thank goodness for clumsy children: A spilt ice-cream!'

'Quickly boy, tell me which test tube you drank from?!'

'I'm inventing an acid that eats through anything.'

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

"Some genetic engineers we turned out to be!"

'Just for kicks, let's come up with something that has a good side effect.'

'I'm trying to turn gold into gasoline.'

'...the side effects of this designer drug are more beneficial than it's intended use!'

"I feel so seen right now."

"This is quite a surprising discovery."

"Maybe we should have tried it on the rats first."

Chemical term for an unpleasant family of maladjusted alkanes.

'This is the one - we want you to pray for this one.'

"You'd be amazed how just a little soybean meal adds to the protein content of powdered bats wing and next tails."

'Periodic table and avoirdupois weight of the Mendeleev family'

'Mom, am I store-bought or homemade?'

'I don't like being a crash dummy either but there are some jobs humans won't do.'

'Why Isaac Newton kept returning to alchemy...' 'There's just no money in gravity.'

Marco Polo

'...then add some of the yellow powder to those blue crystals, heat it for a while, and see how you like it.'