Cup Of Humor Pillows

"I heard we're now legal in some states."

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

"I love a woman with a sense of humour."

'You've had enough!'

"Of course I've been drinking!"

"I'm not normally a big fan of slapstick comedy, but seeing ol' Hotchkiss there..."

"You're getting more wrinklier, grandpa. You should drink more water."

Pope Kimba XXIII.

"I've been a chef for far too long...."

"The test results have come back - you ARE a t**t."

"It requires so much less work than a dog."

'What colour is a hiccup?'

"I'm told the omelettes here have a broader purpose."

"Whoops - the server's gone down again!"

'Hello, is that Dugdame and Son's, the plumber?'

'Stocks rose on news engineers are close to developing a car that runs on lattes!'

'Looks like another typical caffeine overdose.'

"Well, team....time to trade our 'You Got This!' coffee mugs to the 'Mistakes Were Made' mugs."

"The asteroid will hit in 2032, but I’m prepared!"

'Yes, I laugh at most things, but it doesn't mean I can't have a serious conversation...'

Remember you predicted some 'difficulties' with my bank?

'You really should believe in yourself.'

Do not allow your owner to foul the footpath.

'What do you think about renewable energy?'

To make your computer faster, please pour two cups of Espresso into your CD drive.

Ninja

'... And the last thing I remember saying was, 'It oughta be a sin to look this good.''

"Just because he's neutered and declawed doesn't mean he's not dangerous."

"I asked you to take Mother home, not too a home."

'Is $8.5 million really worth all this?'

'He's been at it too long. Now, when he bell rings, Dr. Pavlov salivates.'

'Ah, the old up-phase bipolar cop, down-phase bipolar cop routine, eh?'

Heirlooms of Tomorrow

"Dude, don't say it..."