Coffee Humor Enthusiast Pillows

"Who's the wise guy who drank my caffè grand latte?"

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Give me all the caffeine you have."

'Missed again, eh, Bob? Maybe you should switch to decaf!'

Lockdown casserole

Where 'Turkey Bacon" Comes From

'You've had enough!'

"Of course I've been drinking!"

Murderous Chef

'I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.' (chef shaking chicken).

'I don't care what he says, child labor laws were never intended to protect the rights of children in their mid-30s.'

'Stocks rose on news engineers are close to developing a car that runs on lattes!'

'This decaf's lousy.'

'Looks like another typical caffeine overdose.'

And then I said, "Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble ..." So he said "Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble ..." Of course, I had to say, "Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble ..." It happens every year -0 the turkey never fails to put him to sleep!"

'Apparently, the carrot cake really is to die for.'

'I tried the new restaurant today: they have a three course menu...'

"Our breakfast burrito is just like our lunch burrito, except it contains 876 mgs of caffeine."

'Whale DNA was added to my embryo and now all I crave is plankton.'

"I've been dating this homeless guy..."

"Well, team....time to trade our 'You Got This!' coffee mugs to the 'Mistakes Were Made' mugs."

"I'm dating a much younger guy....makes sense, my ex was a cheetah."

"You're not totally useless around the house - you make a great appetite suppressant."

To make your computer faster, please pour two cups of Espresso into your CD drive.

Heirlooms of Tomorrow

The Trace Adkins Diet

Be aware of what your food is up to: protect yourself against snack attacks.

'Tom, you have always had a great ear for music.'

Where 'Stewed Tomatoes' come from.

'Of course this is the freshest free range steak, sir! You can even see the tyre tracks on it!'

Tea Cup Ride

'This the plan...we will make the clients think that there is a contest, and the winner will be the first one who finds a finger in the soup.'

Suicidal Sheep: '101 Ways with Mint Sauce.'

'Did you ever realize that we're really drinking coffee out of large sippy cups?'

'I'm down to one cup of coffee a day.'