Coffee Humor Enthusiast Pillows

"Who's the wise guy who drank my caffè grand latte?"

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Give me all the caffeine you have."

'Missed again, eh, Bob? Maybe you should switch to decaf!'

Lockdown casserole

Where 'Turkey Bacon" Comes From

"Of course I've been drinking!"

'You've had enough!'

'I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.' (chef shaking chicken).

Murderous Chef

'I don't care what he says, child labor laws were never intended to protect the rights of children in their mid-30s.'

'This decaf's lousy.'

'Stocks rose on news engineers are close to developing a car that runs on lattes!'

'Looks like another typical caffeine overdose.'

'Apparently, the carrot cake really is to die for.'

'I tried the new restaurant today: they have a three course menu...'

"I'm dating a much younger guy....makes sense, my ex was a cheetah."

"Well, team....time to trade our 'You Got This!' coffee mugs to the 'Mistakes Were Made' mugs."

'Whale DNA was added to my embryo and now all I crave is plankton.'

"You're not totally useless around the house - you make a great appetite suppressant."

"I've been dating this homeless guy..."

"Our breakfast burrito is just like our lunch burrito, except it contains 876 mgs of caffeine."

To make your computer faster, please pour two cups of Espresso into your CD drive.

'Did you ever realize that we're really drinking coffee out of large sippy cups?'

Be aware of what your food is up to: protect yourself against snack attacks.

'Of course this is the freshest free range steak, sir! You can even see the tyre tracks on it!'

Suicidal Sheep: '101 Ways with Mint Sauce.'

'Tom, you have always had a great ear for music.'

Heirlooms of Tomorrow

'This the plan...we will make the clients think that there is a contest, and the winner will be the first one who finds a finger in the soup.'

Tea Cup Ride

Where 'Stewed Tomatoes' come from.

'I'm down to one cup of coffee a day.'

'My life began at 40 but my credit problems had a huge head start.'