Coffee Humor Lovers Pillows

Watch out for this guy. Worse than passing bad checks, he asked for instant coffee and nondairy creamer.

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Give me all the caffeine you have."

'Missed again, eh, Bob? Maybe you should switch to decaf!'

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

Raised by Dogs

'Hon, I'm home!'

'You've had enough!'

"Of course I've been drinking!"

"Mixed nuts are brain food, or so I read in 'Mixed Nut Digest'."

Clairvoyant - I want to divorce my husband. He's having an affair next week.

'This decaf's lousy.'

'Stocks rose on news engineers are close to developing a car that runs on lattes!'

"Sorry, honey, I used up all the sunblock. How 'bout we cover you in mayonnaise instead?"

"Whoops - the server's gone down again!"

'Looks like another typical caffeine overdose.'

"Our breakfast burrito is just like our lunch burrito, except it contains 876 mgs of caffeine."

"Well, team....time to trade our 'You Got This!' coffee mugs to the 'Mistakes Were Made' mugs."

"Some people call me a ball-buster, but I prefer cojones-crusher."

A better way to sweep the floor.... just shuffle!

To make your computer faster, please pour two cups of Espresso into your CD drive.

Heirlooms of Tomorrow

"And what would you consider your legacy to be, Dr. Fauci, when all of this is behind us?"

Arm puncture...

'You're healthy as an eohippus!'

"Just a reminder, … I'll be billing all seven personalities together."

Tea Cup Ride

'Did you ever realize that we're really drinking coffee out of large sippy cups?'

'I'm down to one cup of coffee a day.'

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, lady, can't you read?"

Boring Bedtime Stories.

Why Creatures Of The Night Don't Wear Corduroy

"If you need something stronger we can bring out the defibrillator."