Coffee Humor Lovers Pillows

Watch out for this guy. Worse than passing bad checks, he asked for instant coffee and nondairy creamer.

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Give me all the caffeine you have."

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

'Missed again, eh, Bob? Maybe you should switch to decaf!'

Raised by Dogs

'Hon, I'm home!'

"Of course I've been drinking!"

'You've had enough!'

"Mixed nuts are brain food, or so I read in 'Mixed Nut Digest'."

Clairvoyant - I want to divorce my husband. He's having an affair next week.

"Sorry, honey, I used up all the sunblock. How 'bout we cover you in mayonnaise instead?"

"Whoops - the server's gone down again!"

'Stocks rose on news engineers are close to developing a car that runs on lattes!'

'This decaf's lousy.'

'Looks like another typical caffeine overdose.'

"Our breakfast burrito is just like our lunch burrito, except it contains 876 mgs of caffeine."

"Some people call me a ball-buster, but I prefer cojones-crusher."

A better way to sweep the floor.... just shuffle!

"Well, team....time to trade our 'You Got This!' coffee mugs to the 'Mistakes Were Made' mugs."

To make your computer faster, please pour two cups of Espresso into your CD drive.

"Should've let go of the plane when I told you to."

Arm puncture...

"And what would you consider your legacy to be, Dr. Fauci, when all of this is behind us?"

No caption (Aliens ride in a spaceship. Their luggage is stowed in a clear capsule underneath the craft).

Tea Cup Ride

'Did you ever realize that we're really drinking coffee out of large sippy cups?'

'You're healthy as an eohippus!'

Heirlooms of Tomorrow

"Just a reminder, … I'll be billing all seven personalities together."

'I'm down to one cup of coffee a day.'

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, lady, can't you read?"

The waitress wants me, Lars. I can tell by the dirty things she's been saying to me. "Bottomless cup of coffee" isn't dirty, Al.

Superheroes queue for medicine.

Boring Bedtime Stories.