Cunning Strategist T-Shirts

"They say you're good with forgeries?"

"Now, don't worry about the shepherd's fire: I'll take care of it..."

The Trojan Beagle.

Turtle Hat

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

'She'll never look for me here.'

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

"The economy's been worsening for a while, but people still don't feel it, Rudy." "...Which means we still have time to get in on the despair action." "Despair action"? "We're going to expand our menu. Add more comfort foods, more 'sale' items, debt consolidation loans..." "Nobody's dumb enough to get a debt consolidation loan from some random guy." "Ha ha hoo hoo hee-"

"But will it distract the public's attention enough that they mindlessly buy our products?"

'The bad news is that our company is bankrupt. The good news is that we're only morally bankrupt.'

"Works every time."

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

Wordplay: Nonstarter.

'It works all the time: Light a candle and dinner comes to you...'

'I am constantly diversifying my toy portfolio.'

"Game of checkers? Okay, but I'm watching every move you make."

"The figures for the last quarter are in. We made significant gains in the fifteen-to-twenty-six-year-old age group, but we lost our immortal souls."

Targets

CX909708

'If you know what's good for you Allan, you'll let me pass.'

BUSINESS PRESCHOOL

"This'll look great on my transcript!"

"Sign the contract first kid, then you get the sweets!"

Cat Trap,

Bear bends hunter's guns.

'The classic pinstripe with construction boots delivers the authoritative butt-kicking power needed for Monday morning meetings.'

"Bottom line - don't forget to lie."

"Large destroyer on the horizon, captain."

"Can I start getting my allowance in Lottery tickets?"

"It's great, Heidi! All the privacy I want without locking the door...And they probably won't figure it out until I'm in college!"

"Dad, I want another dog for my birthday." "NO." "OK. I want a stripper girlfriend for my birthday." "What kind of dog do you want."