Cunning Strategist T-Shirts

Barry devises a way to get two lunches.

"They say you're good with forgeries?"

"Now, don't worry about the shepherd's fire: I'll take care of it..."

The Trojan Beagle.

Turtle Hat

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

'She'll never look for me here.'

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

Corporate Ethics Department, how may I help you?

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

"The economy's been worsening for a while, but people still don't feel it, Rudy." "...Which means we still have time to get in on the despair action." "Despair action"? "We're going to expand our menu. Add more comfort foods, more 'sale' items, debt consolidation loans..." "Nobody's dumb enough to get a debt consolidation loan from some random guy." "Ha ha hoo hoo hee-"

"But will it distract the public's attention enough that they mindlessly buy our products?"

'The bad news is that our company is bankrupt. The good news is that we're only morally bankrupt.'

Wordplay: Nonstarter.

'It works all the time: Light a candle and dinner comes to you...'

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

"Works every time."

'I am constantly diversifying my toy portfolio.'

Noughts and crosses hugging and kissing.

"Game of checkers? Okay, but I'm watching every move you make."

"The figures for the last quarter are in. We made significant gains in the fifteen-to-twenty-six-year-old age group, but we lost our immortal souls."

Targets

CX909708

'If you know what's good for you Allan, you'll let me pass.'

BUSINESS PRESCHOOL

"This'll look great on my transcript!"

The Death Star gets a marketing makeover.

So what happens when you told Armstrong you wouldn't recite that Sinclair Broadcasting script? Oh, nothing. Sinclair sued me for everything I own, that's all. But the joke's on them: I've set up different LLC's for every aspect of my life. So all they could get were the assets of the LLC that they paid. This opens up a whole world of possibilities. I knew forming Rudy-has-next-to-nada LLC was a good idea. I am going to miss my ten cents and my broken wiffle ball, though.

"Sign the contract first kid, then you get the sweets!"

Cat Trap,

"Bottom line - don't forget to lie."

'The classic pinstripe with construction boots delivers the authoritative butt-kicking power needed for Monday morning meetings.'

"Large destroyer on the horizon, captain."

Bear bends hunter's guns.

"Can I start getting my allowance in Lottery tickets?"