Cunning Plot Lover Pillows

"Don't worry about digging under the chicken coop fence: I have a bolt-cutter..."

"Max! Oh, my God! There's like a billion moving ideas in there!"

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

Evil elves trying to take advantage of Christmas tree fairies.

Heaven

Subway Thrillers

'Stop him, he's got the receipe.' Duck running away

'I've got'em right where I want'em.'

10 commandments

“I’ve got an idea for a story: Gus and Ethel live on Long Island, on the North Shore. He works sixteen hours a day writing fiction. Ethel never goes out, never does anything except fix Gus sandwiches and in the end she becomes a nympho-lesbo-killer-whore. Here’s your sandwich”

"I don't mind car chases as long as they're car chases about something."

"We need a plot twist."

"We love your manuscript! It's exactly the sort of big, sprawling epic we've been looking for!"

'Gosh, he looks so peaceful lying there, I almost hate to wake him up and put him in the oven.'

He Didn't Know How To Appreciate Nature

"It's a novel about loss, and redemption, and fantastic sex."

Galoots in cahoots

"No, I don't mind if you peek,' said the mystery writer to the next victim.

Mid-list Author Magazine

Ghost Porn

'I like the lust,greed and sex - it's just the integrity that bothers me.'

"We’re going to have to be very discreet. We don’t travel together, and we don’t dine together."

'Well, he gave me treats, patted me, played with me: How was I supposed to know he was a burglar?'

"We need to spice up the company blog to get more views. . . We'll need you to have a torrid affair with Mrs Widlington."

Live Bait.

Revenge of the Terror Elk

"And to think we started as a book club."

"Spoiler alert!"

Weather soaps

'The scruffy gits Fawkes.'

"So, in writing, there are six basic plots, and their sequels and derivative franchises."