Cunning Collector Pillows

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Larry's used art

Seagiraffes

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

Duck Hunt

Raincloud Umbrella

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

Thinks he's too cool for school.

Early cyborg.

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

Turtle Hat

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

Best before 65 million BC.

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

A man walks his dog wearing a cone.

Ice shelfie.

"Oh, I'm thrilled with my new dog! He's sort of a hunter/retriever/plumber/electrician."

Letter Collecting Nerd

'Anorak anoraks'.

A trevor of trainspotters

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

It's great for pulling the birds!

'I call it a flat.'

"Things are looking up!"

"I'll give you $5 for that shirt."