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Medusa in a Dublin bar after St. Patrick chased the snakes out of Ireland.

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

'Igloo!'

"Ming."

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

T. S. Eliot Meets Beavis And Butthead

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

"Please hold applause until end of dragon."

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

"Oui, c'est bon. It is, how you Americans say, 'Magically Delicious'."

"By 'genius' do they mean the artist or the marketing department?"

"I thought I'd add a punch line."

"Herb's from Texas."

The Kali De Milo.

'Kafka! Kandinsky! Kokoschka!'

"You have an air of Camille Paglia about you."

Chinese History: Redwash

Count Valmont- Proposed Titlepage to 'Les Liasons Dangereuses'

Antonin Leopold Dvorak

"Now we're leaving the hall of stuff we stole from other cultures and entering the hall of stuff we paid too much for."

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

Burger stall at an art gallery

Australia's role in the Asian century.

"Oh, c'mon! Who eats aardvark with a fork?"

Holy Guacamole.

The British Hamlet. He says: 'Alas poor Yorick, I knew him ... well, I say knew, more of an acquaintance really. Only met the chap three or four times.'

"His painting is actually better than it looks..."

'Coffee and Converstion' vs. 'Beer & Bullshit'

'I've heard it's the new dance craze from America.'

"I just think it would be a better painting if there were a short, humorous caption underneath."

'Your dad is very fussy WHO puts on his warpaint!'

The Painting Channel

"I remember when this was all forest..."

Bayonne Festival

"We're watching some Danish television show and convincing ourselves that it's superior to anything on American TV."