Cultural Transformer Gifts

The stages of gentrification: a guide

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

"From right to left, you have your tekkamaki, your futomaki, and then your yamaimo roll. The little pile of pink stuff is ginger, the green one's wasabi. And, of course, you already recognize your vodka martini."

Free speech isn't cheap!

"I wasn't expecting to be in here for so long."

'It was restored just last year, and changed from an abstract painting to a landscape.'

Good coaches help people change, great coaches help the change stick...

'It's not my fault that I've developed habits that cannot be sustained.'

"The thing is, you have to really want to change."

First O.M.G. church.

No, no, don't tell me … you lost weight? You cut your hair? Wait, did you used to wear glasses?

"What are we doing for Cinco de Mayo this year?"

'He looks set in his ways, but I can change him.'

Pub Kendo.

Chief of Staff A North American Indian working away in an office.

"I prefer your early pieces."

'It's a selfie.'

"In this company, Simmons, we hold our hands steady in the middle and shake our bodies."

Hip-Hopalong Billy Bob blamed the censors for killing the country-rap scene.

She was always an introvert.

"I don't care that you personalized your work area, but stop yelling 'Howdy, neighbor!' to everyone you see!"

"Yesterday we're caterpillars, today this. Can't wait to see what's next."

University Challenge

'I could really do with a change, couldn't you?'

"Rabbi Mandelbaum?"

'That's the great Scottish Indian fighter, Hawkeye the Noo!'

I can't decide if this is a self-improvement project or a home improvement project.

"So tell me, what do you hope to achieve this year?"

Russell Rebrand

I'm just amazed at the difference in you since you started dating Picasso!

"Yes, I specialize in helping people like through the changes ahead: Change is good if you embrace it..."

"Say your prayers, liturgies, Tefilah, Daily Salat, Sacred Mantra, Ritual Incantation or the secular affirmation of your choice, Varmint!”