Cultural Irony Lover Pillows

'Lactose intolerant, eh? Must be tricky, what with being a Maasai an' all....'

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

Angel wears t-shirt with logo: YOLO.

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

"Do you think Trump has read 'Contemporary Relativism and the Death of Meaning'?"

"Grant them amnesty and then hang them."

Right-thinking people against wrong-thinking people

'You keep turning them out and I'll dig a parking garage.'

Dear Diary, 36 weeks on this island and I'm starting to feel that I'll never get rescued."

'You're proposing to me with, cubic zirconias?... But, you're a diamond dealer!'

'I want my lectures to have entertainment value.'

Dear Author: We really are tickled by your persistence. Sincerely, The Editors.

"Of course no one wants a forest fire anywhere, anytime. It can be devastating. That's why I feel so guilty."

"OK, well, if you do hear anything, be sure to give us a call."

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

Please help. Always in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Leaking Hudson River paintings.

'The NHS is committed to patients having control over their care...So if you'd like to check your symptoms online I'll be back later for a diagnosis and careplan.'

'This pie chart clearly demonstrates the distain with which most people regard pie charts.'

"Hang on a tick, lads, what have we here?"

'I'm afraid Mr. Caldwell doesn't want to see you now. However, you're free to visit his web site.'

An artist creates a sculpture of a "thumbs up" and is then crushed by it.

You're Out Of Order

"When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one person to dissolve the marital bonds which have connected her with another..."

"Anyone else would have ship wrecked us on a south seas island."

"The house next door is slated for demolition, but your house is in the way."

In 1682 in a remote cave in the Ural Mountains, Heinrick Glaston discovers irony.

"From where I'm sitting, ha-ha, you're behind bars!"

Perfection Troubleshootors.

"No worries. I'm well-prepped and ready for anything they might throw at me."