Cultural Critic Pillows

'Just how long do you illegal aliens plan on stayin in our country?'

"We British will never surrender our heritage to a bunch of foreigners"

"Well, it all depends. Where are these huddled masses coming from?"

'Not so fast! How do we know you're not terrorists with weapons of mass destruction?'

They're museum quality!"

'Can't wait to get out of Europe George!'

'Do you still believe in European stereotypes ?'

'Glass pearls? Quite frankly, I'd prefer government bonds!'

"What town are we in??"

"I love the middle class, with their values and everything."

Multi-Cultural Society

"Let's not be racist, we'll exchange pleasantries and bid them farewell, what could possibly go wrong?"

'Next Bandwagon Arrives At... 11:00 AM'

"How come there aren't any peace heroes?"

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'

"Does tourism create many jobs in the area?"

'With your liberal arts background, you should be able to walk into any employer's office and say with the utmost confidence, 'Wherefore art thou, Romeo?''

"It may well be a hugely significant example of early 18th century Flemish art...but as head of merchandising I have to ask 'What would it look like on a fridge magnet?'"

Youth Cream, look younger in minutes.

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

The white liberal brain

Troys'R'Us.

"Somehow I thought it would be different up here."

"I love the way you make those yams. You'll have to give me the recipe before your culture is obliterated from the face of the earth."

"Never mind, Harry. Just remember, the 'Saturday Review' loved it."

"It was messed up. Everybody was wearing masks", "Hmmm." / "It was messed up. Nobody was wearing masks.", "Hmmm."

Barcode on Ancient Greek Vase

"Bevenion, if it's not too much of a problem, we'd like you to modify your name so that people can get a quicker ethnic fix on it."

"Welcome to the United States."

"I hear the streets are paved with garbage."

Statues have been removed because there are no heroes any more.

Apathy Club

'At least we're doing our part to bring an end to world hunger.'

Monet in the '90s.

"Get that typed up and on my desk ASAP pet, don't want you girlies getting your knickers in a twist."