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Medieval Tron

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

'This is the worst film noir I've ever seen.'

"Please hold applause until end of dragon."

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

"'Tis but a scratch — in America, I'd still have to go in for work today."

"By 'genius' do they mean the artist or the marketing department?"

Film Lovers.

"Then leave the horses head in the Futon." Middle-class mafia

'You say it's a dramedy? We thought it was more of a coma.'

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

The Kali De Milo.

'Kafka! Kandinsky! Kokoschka!'

Time Machine Collision.

"Aha Mr. Bond - you are in my power!....but instead of just killing you, I'll blether on and on about my plans for world domination so you have time to think of an ingenious way to escape my clutches..."

Count Valmont- Proposed Titlepage to 'Les Liasons Dangereuses'

Chinese History: Redwash

Jack Nicholson

"You have an air of Camille Paglia about you."

Antonin Leopold Dvorak

"Now we're leaving the hall of stuff we stole from other cultures and entering the hall of stuff we paid too much for."

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

Australia's role in the Asian century.

"Chills, Randy. I feel chills. And I can't move." "And I can't remember the last time my palms were this sweaty." "This must've been what people felt like when they heard the Allies were finally invading Normandy on D-Day." "No way any movie can live up to this hype." "Wolverine day is almost upon us." "We are about to embark upon the great crusade..."

'What will it be tonight? Gore and dismemberment, idiotic and foul-mouthed comedy aimed at fifteen-year-old boys, a macho revenge fantasy, or our special combo platter?'

"And here - take this Vin Diesel monologue with you!"

John Waters

Rosemary's Baby Supplies

Burger stall at an art gallery

The British Hamlet. He says: 'Alas poor Yorick, I knew him ... well, I say knew, more of an acquaintance really. Only met the chap three or four times.'

"His painting is actually better than it looks..."

Anthony Bourdain with Chopsticks

The Painting Channel

"But is it art?"