Cult Film Aficionado Gifts

John Waters

Cult films!

He has died...but is he really, really, really dead?

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"Bloody hell!"

Kritik's Korner

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? A scene from an Esther Williams movie.

Canadian film production

"We need to make it through at least one movie, so we have something to root for during the Oscars."

Moby Dick

'Action!...Cut!...Right, everything else is CGI'

"You can tell it's a period drama because they're not wearing ozone helmets."

Movies vs. Films

"'Tis but a scratch — in America, I'd still have to go in for work today."

'So no animals were harmed in that movie...but how about the audience?!'

'And I love the part when he finds out that it was his brother all along!'

Arnold's first day on the job - 'What do you mean...no director!!!...and who is going to tell me what to do?'

Film Star Robert de Niro

'You've got to help my son, Doctor — he's joined a cult that crawls up on beaches!'

"No need for stage fright, it's just a documentary crew: be yourself..."

Jim Carrey,

Script/Director/Producer/Decency Panel.

"Once again, the epicenter seems to be Christian Slater."

'...well you say you're Stephen Hawking but as Eddie Redmayne said he was going to turn up in character we're not too sure."

Lord of the Rings IV.

"I'm just not in an Australian-movie mood, O.K.?"

"Although the depiction of gangland activity in this film is not accurate over all, I would like to go on record as saying that I am not entirely displeased with Mr. Robert De Niro's portrayal of a gentleman whom I take to have been a former associate of yours truly."

Welcome to Hollywood

Orson Welles

Cluck Norris in...LAYED in ACTION!

Arnold Schwarzenneger caricature.

'Coming up next...more of man's inhumanity to man...in hi-def.'

'You're just not right for Naked Ninja Nuns...you can act!'