Culinary Thief Gifts

'That's Nacho Cheese!'

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

"No, Mother, I don't think Julian Assange is going to leak your recipe for fruitcake."

"I just need help getting the pit out."

"He was WOK-ing in a winter wonderland."

"Number 2. Step forward please."

Mother to son, regarding stolen cake: 'I don't need to check anything with 'the boys in forensics' I know it was you.'

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

"The chef ran out of the shiitake-infused sweet potato au gratin, so he substituted hash browns."

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

"What the heck did I do with that leftover turkey?!"

"...I should have seen it coming...The busboys, the waiters, the dishwashers, the maitre d', all stealing shrimp, caviar, lobster, but ah, the strawberries, that's where I had them?"

'Stop him, he's got the receipe.' Duck running away

"I couldn't have made my family recipe raisin date nut cake with it's secret ingredient without Jimmy's help."

Book Thief in True Crime Department

Cat makes a dog pound cake with dog cather inside.

'Another sad case of an over dose on uncut sugar cereal.'

(Mother Goose: playboy's Mirthful Master of the Macabre serves Up Some Strange Twists On a Clutch of Children's Classics.) "Is this supposed to be somebody's idea of a joke?"

Turkey Autopsy

"Here's the pub-grub you ordered"

"It's good to see that... ...Tia Carmen teaching Gracie valuable family traditions passed down through the generations."

"Be right with you - just need to call for a tow truck and change today's 'Catch of the Day' to venison."

'Thank you for the turkey, thank you for the dressing, and thank you for the squash, which Mother cleverly refers to as pumpkin pie.'

Horse meat scandal.

"Dumb ass, huh! Well there's more than one way to grill a thick sausage."

'Mary, you must give me your stuffing recipe.'

"Whoever did this was chillingly methodical about it."

'I'm sorry, I can't reveal my sauce.'

The History of Anti-stick

'Don't give up Albert - one of these cans has to have tuna in it!'

"Well, if you haven't seen him, do you know a good recipe for puff pastry?"

'Police. We have reason to believe you've been hacking into your neighbor's computers and stealing their recipes.'

"Sure we could just print out the specials, but the chef doesn't want to leave a paper trail."