Culinary Tactician T-Shirts

"Well, there's your problem right there -- you need to sauté the onions in white wine before adding the ginger."

"What would you suggest as a dinner strategy?"

Tartine

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

Counting ribs

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

'Progress of a bookshelf'

The wonderful world of cheese.

Ice Cream Surgeon

We need a new eco project. Ok. Let's get locally grown food into the school cafeteria. What's our strategy? We can start with the potatoes. I'll make the poster. We want home fries.

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

Pi Ala Mode.

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

'He made an excellent jelly.'

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

Children's Feast.

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

Wok. Don't Wok.

'I'm going to make a batch of my ginger biscuits.'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

His New Grillfriend

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

Filet minion

A Day In The Kitchen

Party time.

"Really! How many 'How to Survive the Festive Season' articles does one man need?"

"An untested recipe. An uncalibrated oven. Substituted ingredients. And yet, the cake...the cake is...magnificent!"

"Joel! Killer crust!"

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

Burnt or Raw?