Culinary Sermon Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Today's sermon is on the feeding of the five thousand...and I'll be giving you the recipe for that.'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

"I come here for the pepper."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

Baker Romance

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

Full English Breakfast.

"It's smells so good, but why do you have to wait so long?!"

'I was in the catering corps.'

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

Restaurant Chef with book titled: 'Introduction To Cooking'.

"Your mother texted us that you're not getting enough to eat, so I brought you twice what you ordered."

"What's happened to Quiche?"

Feast

"Room for dessert, folks?"

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'