Culinary Rocker Pillows

'Cookery is the new rock n' roll'

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

"That's it. We’re toast."

Soup of the month.

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

'The Burrito King.'

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

Lockdown casserole

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

"What do you suggest...the tuna fish or the peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich?"

Where Deviled Eggs come from

'The following programme contains scones of a sexual nature.'

"Bottled, tap or toilet water?"

"I pray that he will enjoy my pie..." "The smell's enough to make me cry!"

"What happened to the thin crust guy I married?"

A Pirate Egg Prisoner about to Walk the Plank into a boiling pot of water

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

"We can hit any creperie you want, sonny boy."

'No, we don't have any tuna FISH, but we do have salmon FISH, trout FISH, and catfish FISH.'

Writer and his Muse on a cookout.

'Cook is a musician. Improvises. Never makes the same thing twice.'

A sick sandwich is in the hospital and is getting a transfusion on new Maya and Zesty Mustard.

Gingerbread man sits at desk marked food editor

"While the chef's dishes tonight are rather bland, his ideas are fresh and appealing."