Culinary Rocker Gifts

'Cookery is the new rock n' roll'

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

"That's it. We’re toast."

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

Soup of the month.

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

'I think I'll go home and eat'

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

'The Burrito King.'

"The meatloaf just tapped S.O.S. in Morse code."

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

Lockdown casserole

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

"What do you suggest...the tuna fish or the peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich?"

I don't know what happened to the poor guy, but he's visibly shaken.

"I pray that he will enjoy my pie..." "The smell's enough to make me cry!"

"Bottled, tap or toilet water?"

Where Deviled Eggs come from

'The following programme contains scones of a sexual nature.'

"What happened to the thin crust guy I married?"

"We can hit any creperie you want, sonny boy."

A Pirate Egg Prisoner about to Walk the Plank into a boiling pot of water

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

A sick sandwich is in the hospital and is getting a transfusion on new Maya and Zesty Mustard.

"While the chef's dishes tonight are rather bland, his ideas are fresh and appealing."

'No, we don't have any tuna FISH, but we do have salmon FISH, trout FISH, and catfish FISH.'

'Do you want toast with that?'

Where cronuts come from.