Culinary Optimizer T-Shirts

Health Regime Change: No Fry Zone

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"Nobody truly appreciates the magic that goes into a good omelet."

'I love this supermarket; they have the easiest to understand wine department.'

'Eee,love - this place gives me a great idea for the spare bedroom!'

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."

'Of course it's high in protein. Just look at this!'

'You've been rearranging the furniture again, haven't you?'

"I know it's our first date and we're at this fancy restaurant and all, but would it be a red flag if I ordered the chicken fingers?"

"And that is how you handle liver!"

"It's a terrific space, Tony—but do you think the TV will fit?"

"And these are the Andersons, our tenants."

"You're right, Pierre, they are licking their plates."

Castle Efficiency

'A tiny kitchen, one cook, and great food...I don't know how they do it.'

Microwave confusion.

"The mirrors really do make this apartment look bigger."

Television company new recruit

'Memorable miracles' from 'burning bush' to 'low cal ice cream'

"Is it from a mix or from scratch?"

'I can't make dinner right now - I'm installing new software.'

'How do you like the new cubicle?' - 'Can I have my old office back please.'

"Yes, you could have cooked it, but you didn't."

"I've got three michelin stars, two for cookery and one for turning up to the interview!"

Overloaded on Junk Food.

"That's your tiny house!"

"Just think- if it really was 'unlivably small,' would they have installed a permanent Ping-Pong table?"

'Nothing like the workplace to inspire creativity.'

Silly man ordered a bed that is too big for his room.

"Lay off the junk food, your pancreas is rusty"

Kitchen Consultations