Culinary Hacker Gifts

'Someone hacked into my food files and added chocolate chips to each recipe. Do you know anything about that?'

"Jill Hamster's entrepreneurial disaster"

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

Weird things I do because of the internet

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

Canape?

"They always throw us stale bread, so I've decided to bake my own, fresh break..."

In the DNA Kitchen

"Nobody truly appreciates the magic that goes into a good omelet."

You're the icing on my cupcake!

Sweet surprise.

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

"What if Newton came up with a different idea from a fallen apple."

"That was a great ideaof yours, chester."

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

Instant Gratification Cafe.

'Where you went wrong' Desk.

"Pie chart"

'This exotic dessert I make is guilt-free. I already burned all the calories running around finding the ingredients!'

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

"Fresh pepper?"

'Of course it's high in protein. Just look at this!'

'Propane ran out.'

"And that is how you handle liver!"

"I bought you a cook book. Think of it as technical support."

'Life if so much simpler since we called Family Ref.'

'Oh, sure, it gets the creative juices going, but is it worth the cost?'

"We did it! Barbeque, bacon, cheese and just a twist of kale!"

Television company new recruit

'Memorable miracles' from 'burning bush' to 'low cal ice cream'

'You're a bright young kid...but you gotta understand, no new ideas when the bread is only half baked!!'

"I got the kids to try more vegetables by putting sugar in the salt shaker."

"You're right, Pierre, they are licking their plates."