Culinary Experimenter Pillows

'It's wheat-free, dairy-free, fat-free, nut-free, sugar-free and salt-free...enjoy!

'Ooops! No got that wrong, those two chemicals should never be mixed...'

'We're losing the mid-morning market. Let's put a hamburger in a glazed donut and call it brunch.'

'I see you're learning from your mistakes again.'

"Eye of toad, ear of bat and that horrible lumpy bit in the middle of a Pot Noodle."

"You've got to try some of this heirloom watermelon. It's full of seeds."

'No more boiling them in pots. We've got a microwave!'

'Seven layers in one dip? Gentlemen, what have we wrought?'

'On second thought, cancel that order. I've changed my mind.'

'Three trout dinners. Raw.'

Police husband tenderising the meat with his riot baton.

Mum's home cooked meals - vending machine.

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

101 things to do with lutefisk.

'This old VCR warms a mean bagel.'

'Have you guys ever actually read the directions on a box of shake'n'bake?'

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'What do you want with your charcoal-flavoured fried chicken?'

'Would Sir & Madam per chance care to peruse the scratch & sniff dessert menu?'

Deconstructed Street Foods - Pretzel

Woman wearing t-shirt reading 'I married a chemist.'

'I had it for lunch.'

Coffee, toast and some of my special homemade turkey marmalade!

The Trace Adkins Diet

'We're out of orange, M'sieur -- how about duck a la ketchup?'

Heston Blumenthal Kitchen Appliances - Sale.

MD. Online cooking tutorials and too much time on my hands is a dangerous combination.

"Home of the 7-Slicer"

From learning how to use an oven to overthrowing the system.

Sm. Pepperoni & Mushroom Cloud

"I used to like marmalade, but now I prefer seville orange compote sandwiches."

"Not gelato – hummus."

"Honey, I appreciate the effort, but you're frightening our son."

"Despite countless assurances from his wife, mother and 'foodie' friends, Ed still did not trust the crock pot."

Help yourself