Culinary Cut-up Pillows

"Barry can hack anything...including out lunch."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

We need a new eco project. Ok. Let's get locally grown food into the school cafeteria. What's our strategy? We can start with the potatoes. I'll make the poster. We want home fries.

A heart shaped cake

"You're the lid to my pot."

Soup of the month.

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

Garden.

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

"I call it 'rage loaf'."

Too much cilantro

'I love it when you spoon me.' 'I love it when you fork me.'

"My only love sprung from my only hate!"

A couple dressed as a knife and a fork

"Hmm...I LOVE chocolate chip ice cream...!"

Holiday Supplies

The Classy Dog: 'Dine & dance hotdogs: '50 cents a dance'.

I love Cannelloni

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

Salt and Pepper

This is Dr. Sadie, what's your question, caller? I just found out my wife got a bonus at work. But instead of buying gifts for my mother and my six brothers, she flew to Maui and sent me a photo of herself eating a seven-course meal. Stop whining. She's given you the best gift a spouse can give ... Something to hold over her head for the rest of your lives. Well ... There is that, I guess.

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'

"Please don't kill me."

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

"Marions nous! Tu payes les impôts, j'offre le resto!"

I told you I got us the best table in the house. Pizza.

Wedding Chefs

"Oh, but we could be so good together...!"

'We're not at home, Stu. You can't just order 'I don't care'.'

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

"Well..I think the old Thermograph machine I rescued from work goes a treat with our kitchen units."

The perfect man

"Cut down on the pumpkin spice."

"Pie chart"

The boss is truly a courageous risk-taker. Only he tasted the salmon mousse at last year's company picnic.