Culinary Crisis Dramatists Gifts

"Our greatest fears are confirmed, they've taken waffle fries off the menu."

Emotion of Mr. Kenwigs on hearing the family news from Nicholas

Is that pancake ready yet?

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

'Oh, hi!... yes, we have another emergency... make it the usual, and you know the address!'

"Would you mind telling me why you keep hitting a scary-music sound bite every time you pick up your steak knife?"

"Oh -- just scrape it off."

Waiter: 'Your Tossed salad Ma'am.'

'The tax and tip I understand, but what's this charge for shipping and handling?'

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

Toast with faces popped up from toaster.

"What will change my life?"

"Hi again. Can I just check whether you enjoyed me interrupting your meal five minutes ago to ask whether you were enjoying your meal?"

"The fire department ruined dinner."

"Is there anyone here who specializes in stress management?"

"Waiter - this dish doesn't contain enough adjectives..!"

Killer Apple Pie Threatens Earth.

"Places, everybody!"

"Here are Monsieur Limace, our sommelier, Monsiere Juron, chef de Cuisine and Mr Kruigshenk, specialist for the beheading of breakfast eggs."

Now squeeze sharply five times - that should dislodge the tip from his coat pocket.

'How can anything this bad be fattening?.'

'I don't want a free coffee, I want that chef out of the country!'

Banana Midlife Crisis

"Well it's either my dinner or my shirt."

'Well that seems conclusive, a soft fabric chefs hat is no protection against a 5L can of beans...'

"I knew it."

"Miss! There's a fly in my soup."

"I followed the recipe and this is where it led me."

"Thank heavens I saved my teddy bear... he brings me good luck."

"Armageddon-hotline, please select your current fer from our menu. . ."

"Okay, let's eat."

Murphy's Slaw.

"Careful, I'm spilling your shrimp bisque all over the place."

"And don't try to pull the old 'good wine steward, bad wine steward' routine."