Culinary Contradiction Explorer T-Shirts

'Every time we go out for a steak dinner, Sander thinks he recongnizes...

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

'Like death by salad.'

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

Try to guess the continent dining...

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

'Strained carrots again! What am I being punished for this time?'

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

Important Food Groups

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

French wine

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

Leaning Wine Bottle of Pisa

Barbecued dessert, anyone? The coals are PERFECT now!

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

Our visit to the flan factory.

Sauce for the Goose

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

Before/After

'Burl says it only works with corn though if you want to try it.'

'See? You call my look 'a midlife crisis' but for these guys it's a major TV series.'

I wish I'd had the review.

'Another neat trick is to cut regular spaghetti into little pieces, and next thing you know you've got yourself a bowl of spaghetti-i-s.'

'Men order. . . women shop.'

"Incredible! Once again, you've made the perfect piece of toast."

Italia tours

'There's something hauntingly familiar about the bouquet.'