Culinary Connoisseurs T-Shirts

I can't decide what to read, Gourmet or Weight Watchers.

"What do you mean you're tired of AB negative?"

Fun Meal $3.95 (Actual Smileage may Vary).

She wanted a real man, but kept dating the blow-up kind,

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

Counting ribs

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"I come here for the pepper."

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

Baker Romance

Full English Breakfast.

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"It's smells so good, but why do you have to wait so long?!"

'I was in the catering corps.'

Restaurant Chef with book titled: 'Introduction To Cooking'.

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

Feast