Culinary Composer T-Shirts

'I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it's more of a wrap.'

'A loaf of bread, a quart of milk, cheese. A loaf of bread, a quart of milk, cheese... a loaf of bread...'

Whistling tea kettle.

Tartine

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

'Progress of a bookshelf'

The wonderful world of cheese.

Ice Cream Surgeon

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"Jill Hamster's entrepreneurial disaster"

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

Pi Ala Mode.

'I'm going to make a batch of my ginger biscuits.'

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

View to the Future

'He made an excellent jelly.'

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

Wok. Don't Wok.

Children's Feast.

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

His New Grillfriend

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

Too much cilantro