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"I'm not quite ready to order. My lawyers are still studying the menu."

"I don't think the turkey's going to be done on time. That's the dishwasher."

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

Snow & Flo series: Questionable cooking.

'I couldn't find my measuring cups, so I had to kind of wing it with the stuffing.'

'Another sad case of an over dose on uncut sugar cereal.'

It's all gravy.

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

'You made me jump.'

'Stop him, he's got the receipe.' Duck running away

Ordering Food At A French Restaurant.

Cooking With Pollock.

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

'Barry, I think I know where you left the champagne bottle.'

"All right, we straighten this out immediately! René threw the bouillabaisse at Jacques, no? The Jam-bon en croûte was thrown by Jacques at René, correct? The truite en gelée and the fraises des bois were thrown by François at Henri, and Henri threw the mousse au chocolat at François, and . . ."

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).

"I'm not a food critic I'm a literary critic and I've found the prose on your menu to be second-rate."

'Join us. There' a talk on medical marijuana and a pot-luck dinner afterward.'

"Here comes the tossed salad!"

Tsunami in the cooking pot.

"You've actually done something even Gordon Ramsay can't do-burn the salad!"

'The food put up a fight.'

Out and In.

'I told you we shouldn't have brought him.'

Cannibal: 'FOOOOD FIGHT!

Chef chasing an egg.

'My compliments to mummy.'

"Is that your answer for everything...fold in a stick of butter?"

'Hello, police? There's been a food fight here and I'm afraid the cheese got the worse of it.'

'Honey, I think you have an error message coming in from the kitchen.'

'The molto randy refelled her genoise.'

Gobbledygookologist

"That was fun. Let's do it all again in three weeks."