Culinary Cfos Pillows

Cooking the books

"Stock options for your thoughts."

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

'You complimented the chef on his dumplings -now he wishes to return the compliments!'

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

Soup of the month.

"Jill Hamster's entrepreneurial disaster"

Garden.

Canape?

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

Too much cilantro

'Let's hope the new norm means that less really is more.'

"My only love sprung from my only hate!"

"They always throw us stale bread, so I've decided to bake my own, fresh break..."

I love Cannelloni

Holiday Supplies

"Hmm...I LOVE chocolate chip ice cream...!"

Clowns in the board room: 'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to, well, pie.'

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

In the DNA Kitchen

You're the icing on my cupcake!

"That was a great ideaof yours, chester."

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

Sweet surprise.

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

"Please don't kill me."

"What if Newton came up with a different idea from a fallen apple."

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

"Marions nous! Tu payes les impôts, j'offre le resto!"

"Well..I think the old Thermograph machine I rescued from work goes a treat with our kitchen units."