Culinary Caroler Gifts

The 12 Snacks of Christmas

We need a new eco project. Ok. Let's get locally grown food into the school cafeteria. What's our strategy? We can start with the potatoes. I'll make the poster. We want home fries.

Soup of the month.

Garden.

Too much cilantro

"I call it 'rage loaf'."

Old Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes

"My only love sprung from my only hate!"

"Hmm...I LOVE chocolate chip ice cream...!"

I love Cannelloni

"He was WOK-ing in a winter wonderland."

Holiday Supplies

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

"'Well done' lulled him into complacency."

This is Dr. Sadie, what's your question, caller? I just found out my wife got a bonus at work. But instead of buying gifts for my mother and my six brothers, she flew to Maui and sent me a photo of herself eating a seven-course meal. Stop whining. She's given you the best gift a spouse can give ... Something to hold over her head for the rest of your lives. Well ... There is that, I guess.

"Please don't kill me."

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

"Marions nous! Tu payes les impôts, j'offre le resto!"

I told you I got us the best table in the house. Pizza.

The Problem with On-the-fly Christmas Caroling

"Well..I think the old Thermograph machine I rescued from work goes a treat with our kitchen units."

'We're not at home, Stu. You can't just order 'I don't care'.'

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

The perfect man

"Cut down on the pumpkin spice."

Where cronuts come from.

The boss is truly a courageous risk-taker. Only he tasted the salmon mousse at last year's company picnic.

"Honey, close the fridge door while you're thinking!"

"I see the businessman's lunch is up 50p."

'Creme brulee! You're the best Mum!'

Now we know --- It's good for making toast, not good for heating up meatloaf!

"You know, we have our little spats, but we don't argue about what to eat nearly as much as other couples."

"Honey, I’ll take over. The stir-fry has suffered long enough."

'You don't appreciate anything I cook!'