Winter Caroler Gifts

Carol Singers

Old Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes

The Problem with On-the-fly Christmas Caroling

If you want to play fetch with the dog, throw your own @#^* arm.

'My purse! The original 24-hour pharmacy.'

"Hell, Mom! How's it look?!" "Holy mackerel."

'Actually, I was thinking more in terms of a temporary position.'

"Just think how much we could save if we switched the heating off altogether."

'Ach, Herr Scrooge - ghost of this, ghost of that...serious delusions.'

Are we human or are we Dancer, Prancer, Comet and Vixen

Christmas Dwarves

Bling Crosby.

Theatrical Christmas.

"O Holy night - Aye! The stars are brightly shining - YUH!"

'Frankly, I think his caroling was better before he launched a solo career.'

Concerned about soaring energy costs, Connie embarks on her biggest craft project ever and knits a wool sweater for their house.

Coventry Carol

I hate the spring ritual of not being able to wear a bulky sweater to cover the weight I've gained during the winter.

"You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixon..."

"That's the trouble with costume drama - so easy to foul up."

'You better watch out, you better not cry, we're here to abduct some earthlings that's why, aliens are coming to town.'

The 12 Snacks of Christmas

"And a parsley in a pear treeeee."

Carols

Rum Pah Pum Pum!

Christmas-Plex

"You're right. . . Maybe it is time we did something about the office heating."

Mum! I'm cold! - 'Put your jumper on then!' - 'I'm already wearing it!' - '' - 'Mum! I can't reach the thermostat!' - 'Oh, that's a shame, dear.' -

'If you have trouble with cold feet in bed, you will find this dog is equivalent to two blankets.'

"His upper body knows it's winter. His legs are in denial."

"Can I join you until spring?"

'Darling, it's the local Satanists wondering whether they can sing us some black metal.'

'Let's drink to air conditioning.'

'Rudolph with your nose so bright, won't you light my fridge tonight?'

Extreme Carolling