Culinary Capturers Gifts

'Ralph doesn't believe in catch and release'

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

Squirrels Stockpiling Mulling Spices for Winter

"But if you leave New Orleans, you'll be just another sandwich."

Kiss the Commander in Chef

Am Awful Crammer.

"I think the 'Exotic Recipe' diet will make me lose weight. I'm running all over town trying to find the ingredients!"

"Eye of Newt, wing of bat, let's instagram it!"

"OK, hands up who’s vegan... lactose intolerant... peanut allergies..."

"Honey, close the fridge door while you're thinking!"

"If you're such an expert, you cook the lobster next time."

"When you said, 'Let's go out for dinner,' I thought you meant foraging. This is much better!"

"The biggest mystery in my life is whether I get a peanut butter and jelly or a tuna fish sandwich!"

'I really love this stuff, but I still have a lot of trouble with sushi.'

A woman's work is never done!

'...or, if you're watching your cholesterol, we also have thousand-year-old egg substitutes.'

"We both love Chinese food."

"Oh, c'mon! Who eats aardvark with a fork?"

'Before you order, perhaps you'd like to discuss your food issues with our eating therapist.'

'...tail of cat..tongue of toad and a good pinch of monosodium glutamate...'

'I told you rosemary and sage, but don't add the garlic until the last half hour.'

"When dad cooks dinner, it's hard to tell if he's opening cans for us or the cat."

'Women cook to feed the soul...men cook to feed the ego.'

Full English? I'm full already, thanks.

Pick Your Own Baby Lamb Chops

'Watermelon - a fruit to eat, drink and wash your ears with.'

Fresh Fish

'To cook is to dare!'

Self-help videos: Buns of steel & Buns of brioche.

'Care to form a splinter group?'

"You're leaving?" "Yeah, today's kids are so demanding so I've decided to move to a gluten-free, lactose-free, nut-free, sugar-free neighborhood."

'Say hon, the pizza's burning...'

'Self service.' 'How much do I tip myself?'

Healthy Witch Digest

Guess Where Your Dinner Is?