Culinary Captain Gifts

Kiss the Commander in Chef

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

'Table 17 wants his salmon seasoned only with sea salt - from the Pacific; between 25 and 30 degrees south latitude.'

Counting ribs

Soup of the month.

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

Garden.

Too much cilantro

"Hmm...I LOVE chocolate chip ice cream...!"

Holiday Supplies

"I've had it with you guys! From now on, have your arguments on your own time!"

I love Cannelloni

"My only love sprung from my only hate!"

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

"It's time you took a vacation, John. I said to 'marinate'... not 'palpate' the liver!"

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

"Please don't kill me."

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'

"Marions nous! Tu payes les impôts, j'offre le resto!"

'Who ordered the shark?.' '

'We're not at home, Stu. You can't just order 'I don't care'.'

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

"Well..I think the old Thermograph machine I rescued from work goes a treat with our kitchen units."

The perfect man

"Well, there's your problem right there -- you need to sauté the onions in white wine before adding the ginger."

"Cut down on the pumpkin spice."

The boss is truly a courageous risk-taker. Only he tasted the salmon mousse at last year's company picnic.

"Pie chart"

'I used to have a regular restaurant, but it kept burning down.'

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

"What already?! You're the one who told me I needed professional help."

"A little lamb please."