Culinary Calculator T-Shirts

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

Bad for you but to die for

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

'This is embarrassing. By MY calculations, the universe should have collapsed in on itself last Wednesday.'

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

Baker Romance

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

'Unemployed math grad. Will solve quadratic equations for food."

How to correctly estimate cooking time

"Have you been working out?"

The Inexperienced Cook

"Here's your dessert. A guilt counselor iss standing by to help you once you calculate how many calories you've consumed."

"First you make a roux."

"And it was at the moment I realized that the only thing holding me back from culinary excellence was a bucket-load of butter."

'You don't appreciate anything I cook!'

'Continue gently simmering for ten minutes...'

Chef

'Nothing like the workplace to inspire creativity.'

Not a Creature was Stirring

'I've relaxed, put my feet up - Now, where's that good book you promised me?'

Compliments to the chef - "Thank you very much, but all I did was follow the directions in the cookbook."

Chef makes a cook book.

"When are you going to make the sort of bread my mother makes?"

'Let me have 20% fat, 40% carbohydrate, 40% protein and a cup of tea,'

Cooking the books

"We're not dividing the bill. We're dividing the calories. Two people had cheesecake..."

"Look what I found on sale! Measuring cups to use for all your recipes!"

"Peanut butter and jelly...simple...delicious... why didn't I think of that?"

"Well you did say you wanted something gluten, sugar, fat, additives and calorie free."