Culinary Calculators T-Shirts

Maths books in the cooking section of a library.

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

'This is embarrassing. By MY calculations, the universe should have collapsed in on itself last Wednesday.'

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

'Unemployed math grad. Will solve quadratic equations for food."

How to correctly estimate cooking time

"Have you been working out?"

The Inexperienced Cook

'Division is just like addition except you have to use a different button on the calculator.'

"First you make a roux."

"And it was at the moment I realized that the only thing holding me back from culinary excellence was a bucket-load of butter."

'Continue gently simmering for ten minutes...'

Compliments to the chef - "Thank you very much, but all I did was follow the directions in the cookbook."

'I've relaxed, put my feet up - Now, where's that good book you promised me?'

Not a Creature was Stirring

"When are you going to make the sort of bread my mother makes?"

Chef

'Nothing like the workplace to inspire creativity.'

'I march to a different arithmetic.'

Cooking the books

'Wow, Professor Jones, that's an impressive back-of-the-envelope calculation!'

"Look what I found on sale! Measuring cups to use for all your recipes!"

"Our clients like their accountants to use their 'imagination', but most would still prefer their returns in a spreadsheet."

"What am I making for dinner tonight?"

Tasty and Healthy Food

'Give me your hand... I ran out of cones.'

Young Professional Recipe Test

"Ok, now I've separated the eggs."

"Do we have a recipe for rabbit with vegetable stuffing?"