Culinary Biologist T-Shirts

Darwin's Origin of Sushi.

Biocafeteraologist

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

On August 14, 2011 at app. 2:00 p, Derek Winslow made scientific history by converting an item of the animal kingdom into an item of the plant kingdom.

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"States of tofu"

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

6 Brothers Falafel

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"You're the lid to my pot."

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

Picking pastries.

"Rump roast?"

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

Cookbooks

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

"How fresh is the calamari?"

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

"We're hoping for a really smooth wine here."

'I have to agree -- the value of pie goes on indefinitely.'

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"The soup of the day is pineapple with a hint of rum."

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.