Cuisine Connoisseurs Gifts

'Please listen carefully. As our menu has changed for Asian fried rice. press one. For Indian umplings, press two. For Tandoori chicken press three...'

"The Garlic Escargot Velouté...would you like that in the traditional tureen, or supersized in a bucket?"

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Counting ribs

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

Too much cilantro

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"I come here for the pepper."

A Day In The Kitchen

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

Full English Breakfast.

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

"Your mother texted us that you're not getting enough to eat, so I brought you twice what you ordered."

Highlights From The Annual Central Park Country Fair

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

"Regular service or affected?"

this bordeaux speaks for itself

"This controls the speed, this opens the door and if you press the red button a maintenance man appears and gives you a very large bill"

'Do I really have to remind you again about which one of us earns the truffles, Jean-Claude?'

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

"Quick swig first?"

"What do you mean you're tired of AB negative?"

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"

"I think I'll have the fish. No, wait... yes, the fish." "So many choices... what is a Reuben? Never mind, I'll have the fish, too." "I always get the same thing, but it's so good. Alright, I'll have the fish."

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

Bonita shows up late for the girls' Thursday night 'Jam Session'.