Cud Chewer T-Shirts

Is there life after digestion?

"And for lot 27 we have another old tennis ball."

'A bone is a bone is a bone...'

Bubble Gum Dispenser

'it's the last bite that worries me.'

There's a lot of crying out there! Looks like we were gnawing on the internet cable...

"Let me guess, you fell asleep chewing bubble gum again..."

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

'Arnold, blow the whole depot, then hightail it out of here.'

'Well, if you don't smoke or drink, stop chewing gum!'

"I always wondered why they called you detectives, 'gum shoes'."

Bicycle Pie Chart

"Well, Mr Baskerville, the only puppy hound I have left is this little guy right here." A legend is born.

'All those in favor...'

That elusive Pecorino!

"It says, 'I'm hip, I'm radical, I'm out there. I fell asleep with gum in my mouth.'"

"My dog chewed up my steering wheel. Then he started gnawing on my floor mats and now he bit off my seat belt. What do you recommend?"

"I see the world as a giant chew toy."

Every dog except the chow has a pink tongue: The chow's tongue is jet black.

'Chew each bite ten times? †I'm a busy man!'

'I still prefer the pipe. A ceremony isn't the same sharing nicotine peace gum.'

"You'd think that manager's wife would order him not to chew with his mouth open!"

"No wonder we never achieve anything. All we ever do is ruminate!"

'First you fetch their slippers and then you chew them up -- it's called the 'good dog-bad dog' system.'

"So...how'd you like your first kiss?"

Beethoven's teenage pro-surfer career takes a dramatic turn.

21st Century Nursery Rhymes Redux. Little Miss Muffet Sat on a tuffet Eating her whey and curd. Along came a spider Who began to chide her For a diet he deemed absurd. Let me eat what I want. Your carb/fiber balance is way off. You need more protein. And flies. It's your life, but I'd see a nutritionist.

I Will Not Chew My Pencil

'He chews things.'

Four out of five dentists recommend sugarless gum for those patients who chew gum. I'm the 5th dentist. I need the business.

"Mom, do I have to say grace before chewing bubblegum?"

He starts a lot of projects but doesn't finish them.

"C'mon! Allegro vivace! Allegro vivace! We're selling ice cream not coffins!"

"I told you it was closed."

'Spit that gum out, Kovaleski! -- You know you're no good at multitasking!'