Cucumber Craftsman Pillows

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

Counting ribs

The Vineyard

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

Bad Interview Technique

'Are you sure you brought the right flat pack?'

"What already?! You're the one who told me I needed professional help."

'Bob likes to express himself through his art!'

'Slices Mandy! Just slices!'

'After a hard day hunting, I relax by working my patch of green stuff.'

'Yes, Ralph, they are nuts, but...'

"Hold still, it's a programme about making your own tv cabinet."

'McWit never could build anything level.'

'Mind if I join you? I told your wife that if she didn't like the way I cook, she could have a run at it herself.'

"Yes...it may not be the Ritz, Rupert old chum but it's all good home cooked fare!"

"I spent twelve years making this. Where's MY award?"

"My biggest problem is squatters."

Tools of the Trade

"All this mold is a good sign that our marketing content is getting a little stale."

A mason making a peanut butter sandwich.

'So how come at home you only make sandwiches?'

Policeman wishing for lighter food than meat in hot weather

Young Picasso In Woodshop

'I roll my own E-cigarettes."

"Sorry, you must have a tie."

Copywriter for Deodorant Commercials

You know, just because the restaurant operates at 30 percent capacity doesn't mean you do.

'Here's all that stuff I used in that demonstration, but for Pete's sake, don't try it at home!'

"Your condition is a result of a very fertile imagination."

He's useless at DIY."

"What ... oh my god ... what did she put in the sandwiches!"

'That's an impressive display with circular saw but need to see evidence of your accountancy skills.'