Cubicle Critic Gifts

Global Inc.'s 'valued employees.'

"I think he's just going through the motions."

'Any questions regarding our financial incentive program?'

"We've decided to build a little cubicle around you and your desk, Harris."

I hate sitting in traffic jams. - 'Move it! I need to get work.' - 'I hate sitting at my desk.' -

"Open plan office are the future, they're more flexible, efficient...sharing a workspace and being able to see your colleagues at work can really improve performance!"

"My door is always open. My mind, not so much."

The suggestion box.

Before the Hoverboard, there was the Hoverboss.

"We no longer refer to them as cubicles anymore, now we call them individual production stations. Sounds a lot less confining!"

"Sorry—just thinking out loud."

"I'm actually not too bad at my job when you factor in how much I hate working here."

"You call this sweating bullets over the Jackson account? What caliber?"

"We don't fire people. We make it unbearable so they'll quit."

"No more thinking outside the box Bamford. From now on I want you to do all your thinking inside your box!"

Office Jealousy

'I've heard they don't do well outside captivity.'

'I'm not saying this is a deadend job, but you can forget a trophy wife.'

'Beegley, sometimes I get the feeling that you don't like your crummy job.'

'These part-time, no-benefits, temporary employees have the uncanny ability to disappear at will.'

'How do you like the new cubicle?' - 'Can I have my old office back please.'

'Nothing personal. I fire people for no reason.'

"Actually, I'm just in town to waste eight hours a day, five days a week for thirty years, then I'm leaving. How about you?''

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"This position has become very important to the company."

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

We should take a break. Ron's eyes have turned into spinning rainbow wheels.

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

"I'm thinking of turning this home office into a man-cubicle."

In many ways this is the perfect job! Out. Out.

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

'Here's another one that'll make you blow your stack.'